Are you ready to free yourself from
people pleasing and perfectionism?
“If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.”
― Cheryl Richardson
Do you often say “yes” to plans or extra responsibilities when you want to say “no”?
Do you find yourself putting other people’s wants above your needs?
If you look at your work or grades, which feedback or results stick out the most to you?
Is doing a “good job” good enough, or do you have to succeed with flying colors?
Do you stay firm in your beliefs, or tend to waver once someone expresses a different opinion than yours?
Do you struggle to set boundaries in your relationships in order to avoid conflict or them being mad at you?
What would it be like to trust yourself and use your voice, instead of using the voices of people around you as your guide?
At its core, people pleasing doesn’t have to be a bad thing. What if this meant that you have the capacity to be attuned to the needs and wants of someone? What if that person was you?
I can help you get to the bottom of where these tendencies began, and help you heal from the experiences that led you to use people pleasing as a way to survive and cope. You can finally live your life on your own terms, without having to apologize for apologizing, or without neglecting your own wants and needs. You can enjoy your relationships where you can trust they’ll not only stay, but respect and celebrate you when you set boundaries.
And what if perfectionism means that you value your work, believe in yourself, and want the best for yourself? Maybe the signals have gotten crossed in messages growing up that left you believing you had to be perfect to be worthy, or perfect to create safety. Though you might have internalized those messages as your beliefs, this is simply not true. Your achievements don’t define you. You don’t need it to be perfect to be find safety and security.
You are worthy of happiness and living the life you’ve dreamed of simply by existing.
You might have been on the receiving end of conditional relationships in which you believed that someone you loved would only stay or love you back if you were “perfect,” or if you prioritized their every desire. Or maybe you grew up with a supportive family and teachers who praised you with every breath you took. Even though probably well-intentioned, maybe the bar of success seemed to get higher and higher with every compliment they gave you. Talk. About. Pressure. It might seem scary to let people see you without the illusion of perfection covering you up, but what if it wasn’t as hard as continuing to live with the weight of the world on your shoulders?
You can choose another way—you don’t have to keep censoring yourself, editing yourself, and spending another minute not fully connecting with people you love. They deserve to see you, and you deserve to show up just as you are.
Let’s partner together to help you break these patterns and live freely.
“And now that we don’t have to be good,
we can be free.”— Glennon Doyle
Let’s do this together.
Please fill out the form to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. I will return your message within two business days. I look forward to hearing from you!
Melanie Jennings, LMHC
melanie@freedominfeeling.com
(315) 236-4970